Yesterday morning was like many past Sunday mornings. Hayden wakes up and cuddles in our bed watching whatever cartoons that are on at the moment. I try to decided which service I want to go to. 8:30 is awfully early, but I go because otherwise I will talk myself out of going all together.
I decide to go to the first service and almost every time I go, I ask Garit if he wants to go with me. He always opts out and says he'll stay home with Hay. I learned to leave it there and not get upset. This is where some of the background information should be inserted. I'll just say, he's had a hard time letting the Lord in his heart and with past and ongoing situations, it truly seems like a fire-burning door that I was trying to knock on whenever I brought up him going to church. So I stopped asking. I stopped getting upset. I just continued to pray.
While I rolled out of bed, something was nagging at me to ask Garit to join me at morning service. I resisted at first, but then realized that if he wanted to go, he wasn't going to invite himself. That's just his personality. The next thing I knew, I was asking him meekly "did you want to come with me today? I have had Hayden already enrolled for a while now, so she can play with the kids in the nursery."
I was completely blown away when he said "Do you want me to go?"
me: "Seriously?! YES!"
him: "Okay. Sure I'll go."
This might not seem like a big deal. It is. It is huge. I got ready as fast as I could, praying he wouldn't change his mind within the time of getting ready.
We got to church and I prayed that the sermon would speak to him. It was amazing. I was so focused on what he could get out of it. It was based on ACTS 26:19. It was perfect. I thought he would take certain aspects of it and apply it a certain way. I was so excited to hear what he took from it. I was praying that he was listening and having an open heart. I was so nervous.
We got in the car and I asked him how he liked it. He comments on how the congregation was a younger crowd and he liked that. That was the extent of the conversation. Then we ended up putting Hayden down for a nap and we decided to take one ourselves. I was dying to ask him more. So we were laying in bed and the question came out of my mouth before I could stop it.
"Did you get anything from the service?"
I was hoping but preparing myself that he wouldn't say anything near "yes, I want to walk with the Lord. I was hoping he would say something in that direction. In the direction of wanting to start to have a relationship with Jesus.
His response completely left me baffled. Like literally I am 100% positive my mouth was open for a good 5 seconds with a dumbfounded look on my face.
He says, "Yes, you probably aren't going to like what I have to say" <- This made my heart drop and my stomach turn. Thinking he was going to continue to tell me "church isn't for me" or " I think these people are weird Jesus lovers".
Nope. He continues to surprise me. He said "I need to make things right with my father. The lord is telling me to do this." You would have to know the background to get the full effect that this would have on me.
I resent his father. I have so much hate for his father.
I am still trying to be the good Christian I claim to be and let go of everything. It's been hard. Really really really hard. I have prayed so much for his dad and it seems to do nothing.
Garit continues to related the verses that the pastor read to the reasoning as to why he needs to make things right. I was baffled. He was right. I didn't like what he had to say. I actually replied negatively towards him at first. I asked him, offended, if he was mocking me. Mocking my religion. This was so out of left field. I was waiting for a "haha got you!"
He was dead serious. He got more from the service than I ever thought he would get from it. I was so shocked.
He wants to talk to his father and make things right. Once the shock wore off, my hate towards his dad turned to hope. If I could lead Garit to the Lord and this is what he got from the first service, there has to be hope for his dad, right?
This isn't to say that things will be fixed between his father and him- or their companies, but it's a start. An amazing start that was kicked off by church. I can't have a negative view on this. The more I threw the idea around in my head and replayed what Garit said and how passionate he was with what the Lord said to him, the more I opened my heart and encouraged him.
I am so proud of him for taking the steps to try and make things better. He is doing Jesus would do. The lord is guiding him and he is listening and ready to take action. I am so blessed and proud to have him by my side.
I am still deathly afraid that Garit will be hurt again. He has experienced so much hurt over the past three years from his father's actions and hurtful words. I would also hate to see him not get the results he wishes for and in turn, hold it against Lord and push away.
All I can do is pray. Sunday was an amazing day. We had a great weekend.