empty house, my home is in boxes

I always find it interesting when your feelings on something turn out to be the total opposite of what you had imagined. I thought that as I see each room in boxes, I would progressively get sadder and more depressed. Well, we technically just packed out first room up...the kitchen (I know, odd place to start considering we are still living here for another week). As I just finished boxing up all the winery kitchen decorations, I look at my kitchen and it feels empty. It is bare. All of the drawers and cabinets are empty except for a few things we are leaving behind/giving away. There is no personality, only memories of what used to be there and how much fun it was to find and put my vision into action.  I was surprised by the overwhelming feeling of peace when I stepped back and looked at all the hard & time consuming work I just accomplished. With seven medium and one large box in front of me, I realized that this is what matters. In a way, the kitchen is a symbol of the house. The house isn't my home. It's many walls with a roof that protects us. Yes, we are very blessed that we have this house, but in all reality, that's all it is. Our home is where my family is. My husband and the girls. Where we make memories, paint & decorate. This house was a platform for our family to build our memories together over the past 3 years. I'm going to miss the memories, not the house. I can't wait to get to our next home. Everything is going to be okay. I can't wait to start this new chapter in my life. 

Picture perfect

In a mama's eyes at least :)

Our two in a half day drive to Mississippi. They were all angels!! Yes, Garit was, too. ;)

Day #2

 

 I will be posting more tomorrow in between baking pies and cookies!

Hey Y'all

Did you read the title of this post with a southern accent? If not, go back and do so, pretty please. As well as all of my future posts for the next few weeks because I've got the southern country accent down! It's kinda hard to not adapt to it when everyone you talk to has this lovely accent. The more I talk to these southerners, the more I notice my twang setting in.  Are you wondering what exactly this accent sounds like?  

  Paula Deen. All. The. Way. I pretty much love it. And her as well. She's kinda like the Grandma I've always wanted. Not saying I don't love my grandmas dearly. I do. But Paula can totally adopt me as her grandchild. Truly.
I guess I should have kinda updated y'all on what's going on. We are in Mississippi now, going on a week today. We are thoroughly enjoying it out here. The change in senory, weather and people. Oh the people! Everyone (well, almost everyone) is SO nice and welcoming. It kinda makes me want to stay. You don't get that kind of hospitality in California. Not even close. 
Well I'll quit rambling so I can go back to watching my Storage Wars (they don't have t-vo here y'all)
 

letting go for once

For you writers out there, do you ever get inspired to write by the music you listen to? I was skipping through some music online and the song Ooh La La by Faces came on. The smell of pumpkin has overcome my home thanks to the overly-large sized candle that has been running for 8 hours today. Plus the girls are napping finally. So a new blog post was started.
There is actually so much that needs to get caught up on...downloading pictures, organizing my home, laundry, this blog...totally not the first time I've said this, I know. But rather than back-tracking through my life the past few weeks, I would rather focus on the future. Just for right now. Our future is so bright. The Lord has provided so much hope and promise. Best of all, He has spoken to both Garit and I in so many ways. 
For once, we are going to take a vacation from our crazy life. We are going to visit Mississippi for a few weeks. We are going to relax, ride bikes, cook, take a trip down to Louisiana and eat at some awesome places and just experience life. I think this could get addicting really fast, with no real time limit on how long we can be away.
For once we can experience our family without any distractions. Make memories that we will remember for a lifetime. This is the start of our life together. As one. Since we got married this past Tuesday. :0) 
To our beautiful future and a lifetime of happiness!

finger fives & kitchen dances

love note to my girls:

In a way, spending every single day with my girls is exhausting, draining and at certain moment's extremely frustrating. But there are always moments that make all of this worth it.

Like when I think about the special bond that Hayden and I have. How I can look at her a certain way and she will smile. I look at her a different way and she laughs. I laugh. I have this unbelievable bond that is just so heart warming. We also do Eskimo kisses daily. Rubbing our noses together, and then I say "ok, I want butterfly kisses now" and she will smile and get even closer and blink her eyelashes really fast against mine.

{this reminds me, I have also taught this little lady how to properly ask her father for something -- with full-on "pretty eyes" (blinking them, of course) this was my secret weapon against my step-dad, worked like a charm}

Then there's this new thing that we do. When she does something great in her highchair while eating, whether it be eating all of her food or saying please and thank you {she is really good at this now, with no prompting}.. instead of giving high fives, we do finger fives. We use our index finger and high five it. This was started because her hands would be covered in food. I mean covered. She is the messiest eater around, no matter what you give her. Ha. So, to keep my hands as clean as possible but still show her how awesome she is, we finger five it. Now this is done everywhere, not just in the highchair. It's our little thing. Just like our Eskimo & Butterfly kisses. Absolutely love it.

Then there's Bailey. Since she has been so alert since birth, I've felt such a strong connection with her through her eyes. Now that her little expressions are really corresponding with the emotion that I see in her eyes, it makes it that much more magical.

Bailey and I have this routine now... the past 4 mornings while my coffee is brewing and Hayden is eating breakfast, Bailey and I dance. I put on Colbie Caillat's "Brighter Than the Sun" and dance around in the kitchen. Rocking back and forth staring at my beautiful baby that our Lord has blessed us with. All of my problems and worries seem so meaningless and insignificant. It puts what really matters into perspective. You can take away my car, my house, my money. As long as I have my husband and my babies, life is good.

Dancing with my daughter and seeing her smile. So innocent and happy. No problems that she's aware of. Just happily dancing in her mommy's arms. Her eyes and her smiles are as big as can be. She's going to have a killer smile. Mark my words.

There really is no greater of a bond or love than that of a mother and her children. I am so blessed and I look forward to dancing with my baby every morning for as long as she will allow me to. I pray that Hayden will be older than 7 when she feels it's no-longer cool to give her Mommy Eskimo & Butterfly kisses. I am so incredibly grateful for these moments.

xoxo,
Mama

37/38 weeks & 5 days

It doesn't feel like today is the day. Despite the fact that my baby has noticeably dropped and my crotch now feels like it is going to completely fall off (even while sitting), I just feel like I'm already out for the day. Thinking "today doesn't feel like the day".

A part of me honestly doesn't mind all that much. I enjoy her slow movements of her bum going from left to right and her little heels trailing along my belly. Her excitment when I listen to worship music or when I meditate listening to Kelly Howell make me love her even more than I've ever thought possible. Such peace. This makes me want to hold her even more and gush so much love over her. I really can't wait to meet my baby girl.

I don't mind being pregnant for one more day. It seems as though for the past 5 days while laying in bed right before I drift off to sleep (it hasn't been very hard lately as I am so incredibly exhausted come 8 pm) I think to myself "well, at least I get one more night of peaceful sleep, one more day of just Hayden and I to spend together) and I'm truly okay with still being pregnant-but oh so excited to add this bundle of joy to our lives.

And as I type this, I experience another contraction. Starting in my back and wrapping around my front. Feeling pain with this pregnancy gets me all excited. I didn't feel pain with Hayden...just the water breaking. I'm kinda really excited to feel the labor part. I'm sure I sound like a nut saying that and when I'm actually in it, I'm positive my response will change to "yep, painful. Let's get that big ass needle in me now. I've experienced pain and I'm good now." LOL!

Recognizing Impending Labor Symptoms

36/37 weeks and 4 days...!!

Found on EarlySource.com - Early Signs of Labor

Early signs of labor - Recognize labor symptoms and signs early.
Early signs of labor - Recognize labor symptoms and signs early to keep you from making a pregnant trip to the hospital or call to the doctor that results in being told to 'just wait'. By the end of nine months of pregnancy, every woman is ready for labor and delivery. Each tiny hopeful sign will send some women in a rush to get their bags ready to go and their husbands warming the car, but labor doesn't always come when we'd like. Many women have overshot their due dates  of pregnancy with not one sign of labor! Listed below are the most universal signs of imminent labor to help you determine if you are truly in labor. [I had no signs with Hayden, my water broke two days late]

Emotional signs of labor:
Nesting is an instinct that mothers of nearly every species experience. Though humans won't actually be burrowing or gathering leaves, (I hope), you will often start to go into a cleaning and organizing frenzy. Some women go through their baby layettes over and over, organizing the baby's room or section of the parents' room. Others will clean the house from top to bottom, empty every drawer, and dust in places they never knew existed before. This is completely normal! You are not becoming obsessive compulsive, nesting is just nature's way of letting the mother know the baby is coming soon.[I have been nesting like crazy for about 5 days now, on and off. The urge to "nest" today is insane]

Diarrhea and bowel disturbance:
Nearing labor your body will produce prostaglandins, a chemical which will cause loose bowel movements. A very unpleasant sign of impending labor, but one which does let you know the baby is coming soon. If you have been suffering from constipation, this may be a bit of a relief. Gas, which is so common throughout pregnancy, will also become more of an issue. All of this will pass soon enough and the diarrhea serves two purposes. One is to empty the bowels in preparation for pushing the baby out of the womb.[Within the last 24 hours I have had 3 large bm's and have been extremely gassy-painful might I add <- both unusual for me]

Engagement:
Also known as the baby 'dropping, engagement is when the baby lowers deep into the pelvis and nestles into position for birth. You may feel a lightening sensation and gain the ability to eat slightly larger portions without discomfort or heartburn. Many women find this a welcome sign of labor since the baby is no longer pushing against the stomach and may even sleep more comfortably. In first pregnancies engagement can occur days before actual labor, though in women who have had several children the baby may not drop into position until right before labor. Engagement is not a reliable sign of labor occurring quickly in all women. [I haven't had much of an issue with this since she's been low the whole time]

Pelvic floor pressure:
Once the baby has dropped into position or engagement has occurred, you may feel pressure on the pelvic floor. The head of the baby is pressing very snugly against the cervix now and will continue to do so until birth. You may feel as if you need to move your bowels, the pressing down of the head causes a feeling of fullness and pressure very similar to that. Some women who have had several children might experience some pain. [I've been experiencing pain for quite some time now] Many women might have trouble walking or feel as if their hips are not working properly. [That's me since yesterday!!!!] A hard feeling to describe even to doctors, if you are experiencing this odd and painful experience you might feel at the end of your rope trying to find an answer.

Vaginal discharge in early labor:
Some women may experience more discharge in the days leading up to labor. Normally thick and whitish, if the discharge changes to thin and watery a visit to the doctor may be in order. This could indicate a leak in the bag of waters surrounding the baby. This only poses a danger to the baby if labor is not immediately indicated, as an infection or introduction of bacteria to the womb and baby could occur. If the discharge is thick and white or thick and colorless, you should not worry. This is normal discharge.[A good amount of discharge is present]

Softening of the cervix, mucus plug, or bloody show:
In addition to the normal discharge you are experiencing, near labor you may find red streaks and a thick mucous 'blob'. This is the mucus plug that has been in the cervix since after conception to prevent access to the womb for bacteria or other pathogens. You may never see this bloody show, because as the cervix has softened or ripened, it could have slipped out and fell into the toilet to be flushed away. The cervix has thinned and softened so that it is prepared to dilate enough to allow passage of the baby into and through the birth canal. In your final visits to the obstetrician he or she will check your cervix often to check for softening and dilation.[NA}

Early Contractions:
Early contractions can be completely painless and go unnoticed. Occasionally women experience sharp pains with early contractions. If the contractions are not regular and only come infrequently with no real pattern they are referring to as False or Braxton-Hicks contractions. Their main purpose is practice for the uterus. Early contractions usually do not progress labor readily and may stop at any time. False contractions have sent many women to the hospital in hopes of labor only to be sent home to wait out real labor. [Currently on BH #3 this morning]

Regular, rhythmic contractions:
When true labor begins, those contractions which have come at odd times suddenly begin to come in a regular pattern and occurring closer together. At first, the contractions may be felt as a hardening of the stomach, though many women have described them as very strong menstrual cramps. Women who are experiencing their first labor and delivery may have contractions for a day or so that start out an hour or more apart, then finally reach the recommended eight to five minutes apart before leaving for the hospital. Some very lucky women have only a few strong contractions before the birth of their child. Breathing exercises and focusing methods can help decrease the pain felt during contractions. Some women have found water births to be very relaxing and helpful in relieving contraction cramps. [NA at this point in time]


This could also be linked with the frequent bowel movements within the last 24 hours, but since last weighing myself yesterday morning, I have lost a whopping 3 lbs. I have read this that happens 24-72 hours before labor. 

Fingers crossed that this pregnancy is over very soon!!! I'm ready to meet my baby girl!

Summa Summa Time

Okay, so the song actually is Summertime, but I figured you would get what I was singing if I spelled it how I actually sing it. Summa summa time. That song brings back so many good memories.

I'm a tad late, but it's finally here! Summer that is. I'm not as miserable as I thought I would be with the heat and the belly. Maybe I should credit that to my home air being at a constant yummy 72 degrees. Jealous? I know you are.

So since I'm not a fan of outside at the moment, unless it includes water...ie pool parties. :0) I decided I'm going to make a summer fun list of things to do indoors. Plus having a newborn in this heat just isn't cool. 

My Summer Indoor FUN List includes:

1. An indoor picnic, pray it stays on the tile.
2. Have a Popsicle Bath tub Party.

Doesn't this just scream summer?

3. Get my mommy groove back. {personal goal, don't have a plan on how to accomplish this-YET}
4. Get our backyard done-so we can enjoy some outdoor fun.
5. Make a point to go to Barnes and Nobel to get Hay new books. Hopefully she won't chew on these ones, leaving them looking like our dogs got a hold of them. {She has an obsession with chewing books, paper, anything that she can get into little pieces. I'm holding fast to thinking this is a sign that she's going to be artistic. LOL!}
6. Get Hay a princess dress so we can play dress up and dance around in circles and be princesses of course.
7. Manage to take as many photos of my girls and actually scrapbook them.
8. Finger paint and have Hay do artwork so I can frame it <3
9. Have an at home spa day with Hay. Complete with homemade Lavender & Peppermint foot scrub and nail fun!

10. Make a Sweet Flower Granny Blanket for baby A.

And although I won't be doing this THIS summer, I thought I would share because I think this is an amazing idea for when the girls get older...

Amazing, right?! DIY instructions can be found here...

<3 Enjoy the Summa! How are you going to be spending your summer??

an amazing photog rave

Not much has happened since Sunday's big emotional adventure, not that compares to it anyhow. However, I did book our maternity session to go down this coming Sunday with Ms Lovely Amy Boring. I am super excited! I love her work {so much that we are driving an hour and 1/2} and I can't believe that she is photographing my little family.

I should also throw in that she is just as cool as her photos. We spent about two hours chatting about photography, life and drama. I felt like I've known her forever.

Yep. We are now BFFs.

Okay, maybe not BFF yet. That's kinda stalker, but we really do get along and I haven't felt a connection to a friend like that in forever- unless you are one of the friends that I can go years without talking to and when we see each other, it's like no time has passed. I feel blessed to have a handful of friends like that.

Anyways. She's super cool and it made me even more excited for the Sunday shoot. Stoked. Did I mention she will also be shooting baby A's newborn photos? {Insert squeal here}