rain, rain, don't go away

We are enjoying the different weather here in Mississippi. This was right after the big storm blew through. Hayden had a heck of a time with the puddles :) More pictures on that to come...

i adore

I adore my girls. It's no secret. I want to be the best mommy to them and the best wife to my husband. Above all else in this world, if I have succeeded in nothing but doing my personal best in the roles of a mother, bible teacher, mentor, supporter, playmate & educator to my children, then I will feel accomplished and fulfilled in life.  A year ago, I'm not sure I can honestly say that would have been enough for me. I had goals. I had big goals that were in movement towards becoming a physician's assistant (PA). Maybe because I didn't value my job as a mother. With women needing to climb the corporate latter alongside their male partners to feel worthy and excepted by society. Needing to be able to support themselves if something were to go wrong.
I'm not disagreeing with this philosophy. I do think it is smart to be able to have a skill that can be utilized to provide for you and your family, but I also think that being just a mother is okay. It's a lot of work, responsibility and love. At the moment, I am blessed to be able to stay at home with my children full time. At the moment, this is 100% satisfying my need to feel productive and accomplished. I can't think of any other job that would give me as much satisfaction that I get each day by raising my girls.
Do I have goals? Of course. Do they have a deadline? Nope.

[via pinterest, originally found here]

22 months, already

Hayden turned 22 months yesterday. My baby is really growing up. I remember when I would tell Garit how I couldn't wait for her to sit up on her own. Then it was to stand. Then walk. Then run. Then color. Then communicate. All this has happened in less than 2 years. It's too fast. If I could hold on to the baby years for a tad bit longer with my baby girl, I would be one happy mama. Bailey, you can stay small for as long as you'd like. I'm not rushing one second of your growing up. I've realized how fast it really does fly by.

 
Baby girl, you love to cook as much as your mommy! You reminded me to check on the soup atleast 15 times tonight..."souuuup!" We would go to the stove and check on it and stir it to make sure it wasn't burning. :0) My lil assistant.

letting go for once

For you writers out there, do you ever get inspired to write by the music you listen to? I was skipping through some music online and the song Ooh La La by Faces came on. The smell of pumpkin has overcome my home thanks to the overly-large sized candle that has been running for 8 hours today. Plus the girls are napping finally. So a new blog post was started.
There is actually so much that needs to get caught up on...downloading pictures, organizing my home, laundry, this blog...totally not the first time I've said this, I know. But rather than back-tracking through my life the past few weeks, I would rather focus on the future. Just for right now. Our future is so bright. The Lord has provided so much hope and promise. Best of all, He has spoken to both Garit and I in so many ways. 
For once, we are going to take a vacation from our crazy life. We are going to visit Mississippi for a few weeks. We are going to relax, ride bikes, cook, take a trip down to Louisiana and eat at some awesome places and just experience life. I think this could get addicting really fast, with no real time limit on how long we can be away.
For once we can experience our family without any distractions. Make memories that we will remember for a lifetime. This is the start of our life together. As one. Since we got married this past Tuesday. :0) 
To our beautiful future and a lifetime of happiness!

Oops

I got really caught up with life. Seriously, the month of October flew right by me. I'll fill you in on all the awesome details over the next few posts.

A happier moment from ms bailey...although we are teething like a mad man at the moment. :(

lucky duck

I love this photo for so many reasons...you can see where Hayden gets her curls from.

finger fives & kitchen dances

love note to my girls:

In a way, spending every single day with my girls is exhausting, draining and at certain moment's extremely frustrating. But there are always moments that make all of this worth it.

Like when I think about the special bond that Hayden and I have. How I can look at her a certain way and she will smile. I look at her a different way and she laughs. I laugh. I have this unbelievable bond that is just so heart warming. We also do Eskimo kisses daily. Rubbing our noses together, and then I say "ok, I want butterfly kisses now" and she will smile and get even closer and blink her eyelashes really fast against mine.

{this reminds me, I have also taught this little lady how to properly ask her father for something -- with full-on "pretty eyes" (blinking them, of course) this was my secret weapon against my step-dad, worked like a charm}

Then there's this new thing that we do. When she does something great in her highchair while eating, whether it be eating all of her food or saying please and thank you {she is really good at this now, with no prompting}.. instead of giving high fives, we do finger fives. We use our index finger and high five it. This was started because her hands would be covered in food. I mean covered. She is the messiest eater around, no matter what you give her. Ha. So, to keep my hands as clean as possible but still show her how awesome she is, we finger five it. Now this is done everywhere, not just in the highchair. It's our little thing. Just like our Eskimo & Butterfly kisses. Absolutely love it.

Then there's Bailey. Since she has been so alert since birth, I've felt such a strong connection with her through her eyes. Now that her little expressions are really corresponding with the emotion that I see in her eyes, it makes it that much more magical.

Bailey and I have this routine now... the past 4 mornings while my coffee is brewing and Hayden is eating breakfast, Bailey and I dance. I put on Colbie Caillat's "Brighter Than the Sun" and dance around in the kitchen. Rocking back and forth staring at my beautiful baby that our Lord has blessed us with. All of my problems and worries seem so meaningless and insignificant. It puts what really matters into perspective. You can take away my car, my house, my money. As long as I have my husband and my babies, life is good.

Dancing with my daughter and seeing her smile. So innocent and happy. No problems that she's aware of. Just happily dancing in her mommy's arms. Her eyes and her smiles are as big as can be. She's going to have a killer smile. Mark my words.

There really is no greater of a bond or love than that of a mother and her children. I am so blessed and I look forward to dancing with my baby every morning for as long as she will allow me to. I pray that Hayden will be older than 7 when she feels it's no-longer cool to give her Mommy Eskimo & Butterfly kisses. I am so incredibly grateful for these moments.

xoxo,
Mama

oh, this is a good life

Every morning I wake up to my girls. One resting next to my breast and the other jabbering and sometimes if I'm lucky a little singing, through the monitor.

I was able to play around with some picture taking yesterday :) these were my results with 10 minutes of playing around. She gets so darn fussy, so quick.

Every day I get to play with Hayden. She gets it now. It's amazing. The simplest things make her smile.  There is this look I give her, kinda like a peek-a-boo look, like I'm peering from behind something, but I'm not [laughs] and omgosh, it gets her smile going. It's followed by squeals and a high pitched maaaa-meeee! Greatest sound ever. I can't help but smile and keep doing it. Over and over. Until she's almost in tears from laughing.

You would never think this girl laughs because I can never get her to smile on camera. Once she sees the camera out, she bolts for anything that she can hide behind.  That's okay. My little monkey.
 

Bailey smiles. Regularly. She's 25 days today. She only smiles when we are coo-ing with her or when I give her Eskimo kisses. It melts my heart and literally brings tears to my eyes. Her smile is magic.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite having hard moments sometimes. Despite being oh so very tired. Despite having some baby blues. I am so very happy. So very thankful for every day. So blessed. I recognize this and the fact that I have an amazing life. Amazing family. Amazing friends.

waiting

So often I'm sitting at the kitchen table, doing whatever it is I'm doing, and I look over at Hayden and the expression she has on her face is priceless. I always seem to have some sort of music going on my laptop {love Pandora} and while looking at my daughter doing whatever amazing thing she's doing...whether it be her turning in circles to the music, or just giving me that look that melts my heart because she's the only person that can give me butterflies of such happiness with just her smile- for no particular reason other than her mommy is there with her...I wish I had my camera out.

Wow. Longest run-on sentence ever.  If you got through it, props to you.

I take mental pictures of the moment. It's not enough. I miss my camera so much. It's packed away in the hospital bag because I know in the rush of the moment of going to the hospital, it will get left behind if it's not securely in it's place in the delivery bag...

As anxious as I am to meet my baby girl, I am just as anxious to start capturing every moment with my camera. The small grimises that we call a smile even when it's followed by a fart, the cries that she lets out when she wants to nestle my breast to eat and be comforted. I seriously can't wait.

It's like my love for photography is growing all over again, all in anticipation of the possibilities and the fact that I feel I've been deprived of my camera and editing due to lack of movement and 3rd trimester exhaustion.

I am just a mom with a camera and a dream. I know how fast they grow up and I want to capture every moment so I can look back and just smile.

For now, photobooth will have to do.

One that I came across...

Love my serious faced girl.

37/38 weeks & 5 days

It doesn't feel like today is the day. Despite the fact that my baby has noticeably dropped and my crotch now feels like it is going to completely fall off (even while sitting), I just feel like I'm already out for the day. Thinking "today doesn't feel like the day".

A part of me honestly doesn't mind all that much. I enjoy her slow movements of her bum going from left to right and her little heels trailing along my belly. Her excitment when I listen to worship music or when I meditate listening to Kelly Howell make me love her even more than I've ever thought possible. Such peace. This makes me want to hold her even more and gush so much love over her. I really can't wait to meet my baby girl.

I don't mind being pregnant for one more day. It seems as though for the past 5 days while laying in bed right before I drift off to sleep (it hasn't been very hard lately as I am so incredibly exhausted come 8 pm) I think to myself "well, at least I get one more night of peaceful sleep, one more day of just Hayden and I to spend together) and I'm truly okay with still being pregnant-but oh so excited to add this bundle of joy to our lives.

And as I type this, I experience another contraction. Starting in my back and wrapping around my front. Feeling pain with this pregnancy gets me all excited. I didn't feel pain with Hayden...just the water breaking. I'm kinda really excited to feel the labor part. I'm sure I sound like a nut saying that and when I'm actually in it, I'm positive my response will change to "yep, painful. Let's get that big ass needle in me now. I've experienced pain and I'm good now." LOL!

Summa Summa Time

Okay, so the song actually is Summertime, but I figured you would get what I was singing if I spelled it how I actually sing it. Summa summa time. That song brings back so many good memories.

I'm a tad late, but it's finally here! Summer that is. I'm not as miserable as I thought I would be with the heat and the belly. Maybe I should credit that to my home air being at a constant yummy 72 degrees. Jealous? I know you are.

So since I'm not a fan of outside at the moment, unless it includes water...ie pool parties. :0) I decided I'm going to make a summer fun list of things to do indoors. Plus having a newborn in this heat just isn't cool. 

My Summer Indoor FUN List includes:

1. An indoor picnic, pray it stays on the tile.
2. Have a Popsicle Bath tub Party.

Doesn't this just scream summer?

3. Get my mommy groove back. {personal goal, don't have a plan on how to accomplish this-YET}
4. Get our backyard done-so we can enjoy some outdoor fun.
5. Make a point to go to Barnes and Nobel to get Hay new books. Hopefully she won't chew on these ones, leaving them looking like our dogs got a hold of them. {She has an obsession with chewing books, paper, anything that she can get into little pieces. I'm holding fast to thinking this is a sign that she's going to be artistic. LOL!}
6. Get Hay a princess dress so we can play dress up and dance around in circles and be princesses of course.
7. Manage to take as many photos of my girls and actually scrapbook them.
8. Finger paint and have Hay do artwork so I can frame it <3
9. Have an at home spa day with Hay. Complete with homemade Lavender & Peppermint foot scrub and nail fun!

10. Make a Sweet Flower Granny Blanket for baby A.

And although I won't be doing this THIS summer, I thought I would share because I think this is an amazing idea for when the girls get older...

Amazing, right?! DIY instructions can be found here...

<3 Enjoy the Summa! How are you going to be spending your summer??

Journal

Hayden isn't feeling the best today. She's been on my lap the entire morning and fussy at times. I did however enjoy our hour marathon of Olivia (the cartoon pig) with her cuddling on my lap and playing with my fingers.

That was the sweetest hour of my day and possibly qualifying for best hour of the week. I'm trying to cherish all of these moments while I still have them. While we still have them. I actually start to get really sad when I think about her not being my only child.

It's been just the two of us every weekday for the past 16 months. Having a child changes everything. I'm sure with two in the mix, nothing will be the same.

About three months ago, maybe longer actually, I purchased a lovely cloth bound journal from Anthropologie. I had many ideas for what I would write in it or use it for.

Mind you, this is not a cheap journal, as nothing ever is from Anthropologie. But I bought it because it was  gorgeous.

Well, it's still blank. I've opened it a few times as it sits on my nightstand, but nothing seemed worthy enough to write in it, or at least I could never commit to what the sole purpose of the journal would be used for. Until now.

I've just decided that the journal I bought is going to have all of my special moments that I share with Hayden and Baby A. Moments that I can look back on and smile. Moments that I can hopefully share with my girls in the future when they are truly able to appreciate and understand the love that I poured into it. Now that I think about it. I may just have to buy another one of these expensive journals...one for each of the girls. That would mean more to them if they each had their own. Something for me to consider...