When I thought I wanted another baby, Hayden was roughly 10 months old. I didn't take into consideration that she had just mastered crawling. Walking, running, tantrums and just becoming a little person of her own was still months away. Garit and I both wanted our children to be close and we figured our best bet to get this was to have them close in age.
What the heck was I thinking? When does it get easier with two babies? Because truly, that is exactly what they are. Sure Hayden can communicate, but there is still a lot that she doesn't understand-on a communication level as well as why this baby is getting a ton of attention. I suppose this would be an adjustment for her at any age, but please tell me...when does it get easier? When am I going to see a light at the end? I'm only on day 18 into this beautiful mess and every morning I wake up saying to myself "I hope today is the day it just clicks. I hope today is easier."
Today is not the day. Bailey woke up every two hours last night to feed and was extremely gassy. Gassy=fussy. I don't think I slept more than 3 hours last night. Hayden woke up calling for me with every possible name she could think of. Mom, mama, ma, mommy, Mom, Mom, Mom. I let this go on for 15 minutes. Is that bad? I needed just 15 more minutes of rest before the storm.
When I got Hayden, she greeted me with smiles. I thought "well that's a good start". I went to let our two yorkies out of their crate to pee outside. I realized one of them peed and pooed in their crate.
Deep breath. It's not the end of the world, just one more thing I have to do. Well, two. Now I have to bathe them along with clean their crate.
I threw some coffee in a mug and downed it. There was no time to enjoy it if I wanted to drink it hot. I put Hay in her highchair with a cinnamon roll and some milk...along with one of her favorite shows on the television. I hate the television. That will have to be a whole other post.
I fed Bailey, which she struggled to latch for 20 minutes for only God knows why. It's only on the right breast that we have ever had an issue.
So, this has been my morning for the past hour an a half. I still have a whole day of this and I need to some how conquer laundry, dishes, pick up the front room and Hay's room. Bathe the dogs & clean their crate. Sanitize everything in the bathroom. Bailey's cord finally fell off, so she really could use a bath as well. Now I just feel like I'm rambling.
Some where in all of this, I really need to take care of myself. Like, eat maybe? Make sure I'm drinking my fluids so I actually keep my milk this time. Pee without a baby on my boob and a toddler following me in the bathroom.
One day it has to get better right? Seriously. It has to. Or am I really just not cut out for this like I originally thought? I think I may have bit off more than I can chew.
I have 3 kids, the first two are 16 months apart. It does get better and easier, I promise. Just take one day at a time. My motto was by the end of the day everyone had been fed and was asleep for the night I called it a success! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteMy mantra is "just keep swimming" (totally stolen from Finding Nemo). Unless the house catches on fire, I consider each day a success. Reilly watches way more tv than I'd like, I hardly ever get all the housework done, and Emi only gets a real bath a couple times a week, let alone how infrequently I get longer than a 3 minute shower without Reilly opening and closing the shower door 800 times and me praying she doesn't get soaked. The laundry is hardly ever folded and put away on the same day it's done. If one of the cats pukes in a part of the house where Reilly isnt playing, it usually sits for a couple hours until I can get to it. Don't even get me started on the way my kitchen looks (and I used to keep the house so clean you could lick the floor- I HATE when the house is a mess). My ETSY store? On indefinite vacation status.
ReplyDeletePoint being, it's aaaaalllllll good. You just have to let go and accept that it is what it is, and fortunately, it's only for now Let me know if you need to talk, since we're in the same boat! 6 weeks in I'm still far from having it all figured out, but we do have some sort of groove- you'll get there soon! Hang tough, mama, you ARE cut out for this, or it wouldn't have happened
You ARE a good mommy, mama, mom, mom, mom! Life is never the same as it was before children, never the same with only one child, never the same once you have a second etc. Life changes...and you just adapt and go forward with the change. At every stage/age of children i think there are pros and cons. You are not alone, my worry this week has been; "how am i going to manage to drop the kids off at two different schools and still get to work on time. How am i going to manage soccer, being team mom, homework, laundry, house work, being 8 months pregnant, etc etc..." it is always something we have to juggle and it always, almost always, goes smoothly. It may not seem like it in the moment, but when you look back; you will think "how did i do it!"
ReplyDeleteHouse work is not as important as feeding yourself and your children. Laundry folded and put away the same day is no longer of importance and no one will judge you for it. Your kiddos are not going to get hurt if you dont bathe them everyday. What is important is to focus on your children and yourself.
Kids do better on a routine and schedule! Im not a routine kind of person, not at all...but we have a bedtime routine...which is very important for the kids! (bath, brush teeth, read a book, prayers, sing songs...SLEEP) work on one thing at a time, and all the other things will fall into place. (there has been times where dishes sit in my sink for days, because i dont have time to get to them...ITS OK! there are times toys dont get put away for days, ITS OK. There are many times we get dressed from the clean clothes out of the laundry basket or even the dryer...ITS OK! And there are even times that i stay up until 1am once the kids are in bed doing laundry, painting my toes, catching up on tv shows, dishes etc...ITS OK)
(Its OK to let the kids cry, scream, or throw a fit while you go to the bathroom...they will be OK!)
*one thing i have always done since my kids were infants was get ready every morning. I would feed my baby, put him/her down with toys, bouncy seat, tv show, etc and go get ready. If they cried...they cried...if they screamed, they screamed...(unless they get hurt..then i tend) but i would make sure they were in a safe spot before leaving to get ready..or even put them close by! OR EVEN...move my blow dryer and makeup in the same room they were...But i got myself ready and i felt 100% better on the days i did it. So i did it almost every day. the kids caught on...they know now...and have for a while...that the morning time when mommy is in the bathroom...is her "pretty time" and they leave me alone! You need to do that for yourself! I would always tell them, even as infants/toddlers "mommy needs 30 minutes, it will make mommy a better mommy if i just get ready!" and it really would! :)
Dont feel guilty to let your children cry while you go pee or get yourself food/drink, get yourself ready... etc. ok?
Keep your thoughts POSITIVE, keep your outlook POSITIVE...keep positive even when it seems lack of. if you get your kids fed and in bed the day is a success!!
If you wanna chat...call me :) im always here for you!
(ps: there are still times i call Shaun and tell him...I NEED YOU HOME..NOW! because i just can't handle it anymore...there are times i lock myself in the bathroom and sit on the floor and cry! there are times i feel like a bad mom...but reality is... im a great mommy...and its OK to cry and have a bad day!!
Keep you head up high and keep loving those babies :)
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ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say. You're doing just fine. Some how it does get better. Slowly. But it does. I was 19 when my first child was born. He's now, 4 years old. I knew I wanted my kids close together in age. I wasnt prepared for how close. But shortly after Nate's 1st birthday I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. I barely knew what I was doing raising one kid, now I would suddenly be raising another one. Then my bigger surprise when I went to the DR and found out I was having twins. I was still breast feeding when I found out. I went pretty much through what your going through now. Nate's brother and sister are 2.5 yrs old. I still cant go to the bathroom without someone knocking on the door. If I fold clothes at all its after midnight, usually they stay in the bin. I eat as I make the kids their food. Ppl ask me all the time how I manage. I have no idea. Day by day. Thats all I can say.You are not a bad mom for letting the kids cry. I tell my kids, "Your not bleeding, your not hurt, theres no reason for it" I know it seems like a lot now. But it does get easier. If they're happy and healthy. Your obviously doing something right. :) Good luck.
Thank you everyone, the encouragement is SO uplifting. "This too shall pass" has become my motto. I'm not sure things have started looking up or if my new positive outlook on the situation has made it easier, but it's simply that. Easier. Maybe I'm just having a few good days. : )
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