Honestly, it's an amazing morning. I have an extremely happy and loving toddler running around the house and I was even able to get out and grab a "Trenta" shaken passion iced tea with raspberry (not sure if that's how you properly say it) and a lemon pound cake. Amazing. Except now I have unbelievably horrible heartburn. Can you say tums? Life saver.
Hayden woke up around 8 this morning and played for about 30 minutes while I laid in bed in deep thought.
I had a revelation, similar to one I had a few weeks ago...I care way to much about what people think. Not just about my appearance, but about my actions or what even what I say before I post a status on Facebook. Stupid. I know.
I don't put in nearly half the effort that I should into my ambitions because I'm worried about what others will think about it and if I put my all into something and fail, what will others think?
I was worried about what the lady at Nordstrom was going to think of me when I went to return a few outfits that I didn't use at my maternity shoot.
I wasn't sure what I wanted at Starbucks, but I had to decide what I wanted before I got there because I didn't want to piss someone off for being so indecisive.
Why do I care so much? I don't want to be this way and I definitely don't want to raise Hayden to feel this way. I want her to be a leader, not a follower.
I heard that saying so much from my parents while growing up. I always thought I was a leader, but I guess I thought wrong...
I don't know how to change this, but it needs to be changed.This is a huge personality flaw and I can't believe I'm letting the blogging community know about it. See? Me caring what others will think. again.
Any suggestions in how I can improve would be greatly appreciated.
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