I have a serious question...

When I thought I wanted another baby, Hayden was roughly 10 months old. I didn't take into consideration that she had just mastered crawling. Walking, running, tantrums and just becoming a little person of her own was still months away. Garit and I both wanted our children to be close and we figured our best bet to get this was to have them close in age.

What the heck was I thinking? When does it get easier with two babies? Because truly, that is exactly what they are. Sure Hayden can communicate, but there is still a lot that she doesn't understand-on a communication level as well as why this baby is getting a ton of attention. I suppose this would be an adjustment for her at any age, but please tell me...when does it get easier? When am I going to see a light at the end? I'm only on day 18 into this beautiful mess and every morning I wake up saying to myself "I hope today is the day it just clicks. I hope today is easier."

Today is not the day. Bailey woke up every two hours last night to feed and was extremely gassy. Gassy=fussy. I don't think I slept more than 3 hours last night. Hayden woke up calling for me with every possible name she could think of. Mom, mama, ma, mommy, Mom, Mom, Mom. I let this go on for 15 minutes. Is that bad? I needed just 15 more minutes of rest before the storm.

When I got Hayden, she greeted me with smiles. I thought "well that's a good start". I went to let our two yorkies out of their crate to pee outside. I realized one of them peed and pooed in their crate.

Deep breath. It's not the end of the world, just one more thing I have to do. Well, two. Now I have to bathe them along with clean their crate.

I threw some coffee in a mug and downed it. There was no time to enjoy it if I wanted to drink it hot. I put Hay in her highchair with a cinnamon roll and some milk...along with one of her favorite shows on the television. I hate the television. That will have to be a whole other post.

I fed Bailey, which she struggled to latch for 20 minutes for only God knows why. It's only on the right breast that we have ever had an issue.


So, this has been my morning for the past hour an a half. I still have a whole day of this and I need to some how conquer laundry, dishes, pick up the front room and Hay's room. Bathe the dogs & clean their crate. Sanitize everything in the bathroom. Bailey's cord finally fell off, so she really could use a bath as well. Now I just feel like I'm rambling.

Some where in all of this, I really need to take care of myself. Like, eat maybe? Make sure I'm drinking my fluids so I actually keep my milk this time. Pee without a baby on my boob and a toddler following me in the bathroom.

One day it has to get better right? Seriously. It has to. Or am I really just not cut out for this like I originally thought? I think I may have bit off more than I can chew.

The joys of having a belly...

This was taken a week ago, at 32 weeks. I'm even bigger now, I just need to get an updated picture taken :) I usually don't have an issue with doing this.

UPDATED PICTURE ADDED 6/24: 33/34 weeks along

For the most part, coming to the end of this pregnancy is relieving. I am getting big. To the point to where I am uncomfortable and little things just make me upset. Not upset as in mad, more like sad.

For instance, this morning I was on the floor playing with Hayden. {We just got a new couch and it's so tall she can't get up by herself. So, instead of me constantly lifting her up with me, it's just easier to play on the floor} Well, I say easier, but technically it's not. Getting down to just sit on my butt isn't the easiest anymore, let alone crawling around with a belly to play with the different toys scattered around the room.

Anyhow, Hayden brought me a book to read to her. She hands it too me and turns around and backs her little tush up to sit in my lap. I no longer have a lap available! It's completely taken by belly. I chuckled to myself but then I got really sad. My baby girl can't sit on my lap. I know this is temporary, but for the last few weeks that we have alone time together, the option of sitting on my lap is no longer available. Kind of breaks my heart.

We settled for reading the book with her on my knee. It's just not the same.

Another annoying thing that I have to deal with for the next seven weeks is I can't wash dishes facing the sink. My belly is too large and I end up hunched over just so I can reach the water. I now have to face sideways and turn my upper body towards the sink. Really? I don't remember every doing this with Hayden. Annoying.

Not to mention I have a really hard time giving Hayden her baths now. Garit has stepped in and taken over that nightly routine while I attempt to wash the dishes. :( Sad sad sad.

Baby Instruction Manual

I don't think I was the only one the hospital forgot to give the instruction manual to when I left with my new bundle of joy about 17 months ago. Oh, they don't give manuals out these days?? That explains it.

I understand that everyone has their own parenting techniques and being a mother is a lot of trial and error. I am not the perfect mom, but I damn sure try to be.

But when something isn't working out the way you planned or your little bundle of joy gives you panic attacks when it comes to bedtime every night, maybe it's time to re-evaluate your parenting techniques.

Who doesn't worry about their child every single day?

Am I reading enough to her?

Is she getting the nutrition she needs from a balanced diet?

Is she spending enough time playing outside?

Does she get enough social interaction with other children?

Are these tantrums normal? Really? This young??

I have asked every single one of these questions. Multiple times. My MIL can vouch for me on this one.

I think to myself, I hope it gets easier...fully knowing that it won't. But at the end of the day, when my child gives me a kisses and tells me "nigh nigh" {night night} in her sweetest voice...at 7pm {okay it's more like 8pm these days, thanks to the summer sun not going down until then} but then she simply lays down and goes to sleep. I must be doing something right, right?!

I have a happy child. Sometimes, parenting gets a little shaky and it's normal to question your routines, but when your child isn't sleeping until 9pm at the earliest and you have to lay down with them every night and they don't take naps during the day. Maybe it's time to rethink what exactly you are doing in your daily routine, or not doing for that matter.

Nutrition, structure and control in the household?

I must be doing something right. Boy, is that reassuring.

Okayyy. Rant over. :0)