Hey Y'all

Did you read the title of this post with a southern accent? If not, go back and do so, pretty please. As well as all of my future posts for the next few weeks because I've got the southern country accent down! It's kinda hard to not adapt to it when everyone you talk to has this lovely accent. The more I talk to these southerners, the more I notice my twang setting in.  Are you wondering what exactly this accent sounds like?  

  Paula Deen. All. The. Way. I pretty much love it. And her as well. She's kinda like the Grandma I've always wanted. Not saying I don't love my grandmas dearly. I do. But Paula can totally adopt me as her grandchild. Truly.
I guess I should have kinda updated y'all on what's going on. We are in Mississippi now, going on a week today. We are thoroughly enjoying it out here. The change in senory, weather and people. Oh the people! Everyone (well, almost everyone) is SO nice and welcoming. It kinda makes me want to stay. You don't get that kind of hospitality in California. Not even close. 
Well I'll quit rambling so I can go back to watching my Storage Wars (they don't have t-vo here y'all)
 

oh baby

Bailey definitely did a number on my body. Three weeks post-baby, despite being 1 lb below what I weighed before I got pregnant, I still look like I could be 3 months.

Not to mention the horrific stretchmarks leaving me with no choice but to forever shop in the tankini section for bathing suits...

Random thought, is the word tankini in the dictionary yet? Yep.

— n
	a woman's two-piece swimming costume consisting of a vest or camisole top and bikini briefs

reference: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/tankini

 

 

Posting this will make me accountable for losing the flab and getting in shape. Obviously, this will have to wait until I completely heal. I'm already getting tons of flak from friends and family for overdoing it with simple chores. It's so frustrating that I can't just get into a normal daily routine without taking everything into consideration if it's going to affect my healing process. 

Oh, I would also like to mention that while I never did trek out to Nordstrom to enjoy my Spanx experience, I did try on some knock offs at our Kohls. They weren't worth it. I didn't notice any substantial difference other than smoothing of the skin. You don't fool me, knock offs. Maybe the real Spanx actually work? We'll see, one day when I'm eventually healed enough to take the double stroller out with the kiddos.

I'm really going to do it.

So, I may just trek out of the house for the first time with both girls today. I haven't been out of the house yet with either one of them since the c-section...All to do what, you ask?

This might sound extremely vain. You can judge me. But please don't, unless you look 4 months pregnant, and aren't.

I want to buy my first pair of...Spanx! Gasp. I know.

This, however, I think will boost my confidence like a new hair cut. Why not just get my hair cut then? Garit won't let me. Not in like "I'm a crazy and won't let my fiance cut her hair" he actually made a few valid points...

1. When I start to work out, I won't be able to just put my hair up and work it. The it being my flabby post-baby body.

2. Having my hair short while 20 lbs overweight will only make me feel more insecure (rounder face + short hair, not extremely flattering on me)

3. Cutting my hair should be used as a reward system. Kinda like when you lose this much weight, you can cut your hair so you look and feel EVEN better than you did from just losing the weight!

So, he sold me on letting my hair grow until I lose all my weight.

This is what I used to look like, pre-babies and short hair...

So the next best thing next to a new hair cut? Spanx.

As gross as it is, I will post before and after pictures with the lovely Spanx on. Hopefully it looks like someone did some magic on my poor little belly.


Did I mention I'm in a wedding that is going to be GORGEOUS and surrounded by GORGEOUS people on a yatch? It's 5 weeks away. It's depressing that I can't even work out or diet to try to slim down a bit. I'm praying that these spanks will do an number on me. Like make me loose two dress sizes. HA.


If Hayden takes a nice nap this morning and I'm feeling up to it still, I'll be taking my first trip to the mall. Thought of the moment, Target should really sell Spanx. Just for this occassion and the fact that I would feel way less uncomfortable with a baby crying or tantrum throwing toddler in Target rather than in Nordstrom.

Did I mention Hayden has become a little terror and I feel like all my parenting skills have flown out the window? I thought I was on top of it. I thought I was on the right track as far as raising her...but with this baby addition, it seems to have rocked her little world, in turn rocking my world (not in an awesome way). Not too sure what I'm doing anymore. Two in the mix leaves way less time to reevaluate parenting techniques and it's making my rope of patience way shorter.

simple things

Today I was able to go to Target and aimlessly wander the isles with no intention of buying anything but diaper rash cream and a new tooth brush for Hay (she chewed her previous one until the brissles went left and right rather than up).

However, whenever I walk down the office supplies isle, I feel like a kid going to Disneyland for the first time. I seriously get so giddy...and since I didn't have Hay with me, which is a rarity in itself, I didn't have to quickly glance down the isle while praying she doesn't catch a glimpse of the Hello Kitty binders or the "prissess" (princess) stickers.

I splurged on a eco-friendly notebook that I decided would be dedicated to my random doodling, endless lists and my many crazy ideas that I come up with throughout the day. But what's a new notebook without new pens? : ) Made my day.

Going through old photos, also made my day.

 Hahaha. Love you, Hayden. Even had some looks at 8 months...

Recognizing Impending Labor Symptoms

36/37 weeks and 4 days...!!

Found on EarlySource.com - Early Signs of Labor

Early signs of labor - Recognize labor symptoms and signs early.
Early signs of labor - Recognize labor symptoms and signs early to keep you from making a pregnant trip to the hospital or call to the doctor that results in being told to 'just wait'. By the end of nine months of pregnancy, every woman is ready for labor and delivery. Each tiny hopeful sign will send some women in a rush to get their bags ready to go and their husbands warming the car, but labor doesn't always come when we'd like. Many women have overshot their due dates  of pregnancy with not one sign of labor! Listed below are the most universal signs of imminent labor to help you determine if you are truly in labor. [I had no signs with Hayden, my water broke two days late]

Emotional signs of labor:
Nesting is an instinct that mothers of nearly every species experience. Though humans won't actually be burrowing or gathering leaves, (I hope), you will often start to go into a cleaning and organizing frenzy. Some women go through their baby layettes over and over, organizing the baby's room or section of the parents' room. Others will clean the house from top to bottom, empty every drawer, and dust in places they never knew existed before. This is completely normal! You are not becoming obsessive compulsive, nesting is just nature's way of letting the mother know the baby is coming soon.[I have been nesting like crazy for about 5 days now, on and off. The urge to "nest" today is insane]

Diarrhea and bowel disturbance:
Nearing labor your body will produce prostaglandins, a chemical which will cause loose bowel movements. A very unpleasant sign of impending labor, but one which does let you know the baby is coming soon. If you have been suffering from constipation, this may be a bit of a relief. Gas, which is so common throughout pregnancy, will also become more of an issue. All of this will pass soon enough and the diarrhea serves two purposes. One is to empty the bowels in preparation for pushing the baby out of the womb.[Within the last 24 hours I have had 3 large bm's and have been extremely gassy-painful might I add <- both unusual for me]

Engagement:
Also known as the baby 'dropping, engagement is when the baby lowers deep into the pelvis and nestles into position for birth. You may feel a lightening sensation and gain the ability to eat slightly larger portions without discomfort or heartburn. Many women find this a welcome sign of labor since the baby is no longer pushing against the stomach and may even sleep more comfortably. In first pregnancies engagement can occur days before actual labor, though in women who have had several children the baby may not drop into position until right before labor. Engagement is not a reliable sign of labor occurring quickly in all women. [I haven't had much of an issue with this since she's been low the whole time]

Pelvic floor pressure:
Once the baby has dropped into position or engagement has occurred, you may feel pressure on the pelvic floor. The head of the baby is pressing very snugly against the cervix now and will continue to do so until birth. You may feel as if you need to move your bowels, the pressing down of the head causes a feeling of fullness and pressure very similar to that. Some women who have had several children might experience some pain. [I've been experiencing pain for quite some time now] Many women might have trouble walking or feel as if their hips are not working properly. [That's me since yesterday!!!!] A hard feeling to describe even to doctors, if you are experiencing this odd and painful experience you might feel at the end of your rope trying to find an answer.

Vaginal discharge in early labor:
Some women may experience more discharge in the days leading up to labor. Normally thick and whitish, if the discharge changes to thin and watery a visit to the doctor may be in order. This could indicate a leak in the bag of waters surrounding the baby. This only poses a danger to the baby if labor is not immediately indicated, as an infection or introduction of bacteria to the womb and baby could occur. If the discharge is thick and white or thick and colorless, you should not worry. This is normal discharge.[A good amount of discharge is present]

Softening of the cervix, mucus plug, or bloody show:
In addition to the normal discharge you are experiencing, near labor you may find red streaks and a thick mucous 'blob'. This is the mucus plug that has been in the cervix since after conception to prevent access to the womb for bacteria or other pathogens. You may never see this bloody show, because as the cervix has softened or ripened, it could have slipped out and fell into the toilet to be flushed away. The cervix has thinned and softened so that it is prepared to dilate enough to allow passage of the baby into and through the birth canal. In your final visits to the obstetrician he or she will check your cervix often to check for softening and dilation.[NA}

Early Contractions:
Early contractions can be completely painless and go unnoticed. Occasionally women experience sharp pains with early contractions. If the contractions are not regular and only come infrequently with no real pattern they are referring to as False or Braxton-Hicks contractions. Their main purpose is practice for the uterus. Early contractions usually do not progress labor readily and may stop at any time. False contractions have sent many women to the hospital in hopes of labor only to be sent home to wait out real labor. [Currently on BH #3 this morning]

Regular, rhythmic contractions:
When true labor begins, those contractions which have come at odd times suddenly begin to come in a regular pattern and occurring closer together. At first, the contractions may be felt as a hardening of the stomach, though many women have described them as very strong menstrual cramps. Women who are experiencing their first labor and delivery may have contractions for a day or so that start out an hour or more apart, then finally reach the recommended eight to five minutes apart before leaving for the hospital. Some very lucky women have only a few strong contractions before the birth of their child. Breathing exercises and focusing methods can help decrease the pain felt during contractions. Some women have found water births to be very relaxing and helpful in relieving contraction cramps. [NA at this point in time]


This could also be linked with the frequent bowel movements within the last 24 hours, but since last weighing myself yesterday morning, I have lost a whopping 3 lbs. I have read this that happens 24-72 hours before labor. 

Fingers crossed that this pregnancy is over very soon!!! I'm ready to meet my baby girl!

Get to know me better...

With 23 random facts!

1. I cloth diaper Hayden 90% of the time. It used to be full time, but when it's really hot outside, Hayden gets heat rashes down there because of the moisture.

2. When Hay "holds my hand" she's actually just gripping my pinky. Cutest thing ever. 

3. I've tossed around the idea of homeschooling and really need to force myself to research it more. 

4. Hayden says "peazzzzz" {Please} with emphesis. It makes my day.

5. I get anxiety when I think about Hayden going to school {one of the reasons I want to home school her, but not the main reason}

6. I don't know how many more episodes of Calliou I can watch before I go completely insane.

7. I have struggled with acne since my teens.

8. I have a problem with following through. 

Example: I have everything you could ever think of to scrapbook, yet over the past two years I have only finished 1 {ONE} page. Yep. Fail.

9. I have an obsession with scented candles.

10. I LOVE the lines that the vacuum leaves on the carpet.

11. I eat sunflower seed nut butter on my bananas. 

12. I see Garit as perfect because I look at him through Jesus' eyes.

13. I am terrified to have a newborn again.

14. I want a big family, possibly 5 children but I really rescent the thought of being pregnant for 50 months.

15. I want to be a crunchy granola head, but I love meat too much to totally give it up.

16. We have a Chocolate Lab and Two Yorkshire Terriers. We would have more, but Garit learned to tell me no shortly after getting the lab. {I'll have to tell the story of the cat one day}

17. I secretly have baby fever even though I'm already pregnant. I am going to have to get the IUD fo sho ASAP after this bambino.

18. I really struggled with my weight after having Hayden. I was only able to breastfeed until she was 4 months old because I didn't take in enough calories and water. I blame myself every day and wish I could have gone until she was one.

19. I love to make lists. For everything.

20. I am deathly afraid that I might be one of the millions that experience PPD.

21. My kitchen is wine themed.

22. I pray that Hayden and Baby A will grow up with Jesus in their heart. 

23. I still get butterflies when I talk to Garit, I truly feel I found my soul mate {cheesy, I know}.

The joys of having a belly...

This was taken a week ago, at 32 weeks. I'm even bigger now, I just need to get an updated picture taken :) I usually don't have an issue with doing this.

UPDATED PICTURE ADDED 6/24: 33/34 weeks along

For the most part, coming to the end of this pregnancy is relieving. I am getting big. To the point to where I am uncomfortable and little things just make me upset. Not upset as in mad, more like sad.

For instance, this morning I was on the floor playing with Hayden. {We just got a new couch and it's so tall she can't get up by herself. So, instead of me constantly lifting her up with me, it's just easier to play on the floor} Well, I say easier, but technically it's not. Getting down to just sit on my butt isn't the easiest anymore, let alone crawling around with a belly to play with the different toys scattered around the room.

Anyhow, Hayden brought me a book to read to her. She hands it too me and turns around and backs her little tush up to sit in my lap. I no longer have a lap available! It's completely taken by belly. I chuckled to myself but then I got really sad. My baby girl can't sit on my lap. I know this is temporary, but for the last few weeks that we have alone time together, the option of sitting on my lap is no longer available. Kind of breaks my heart.

We settled for reading the book with her on my knee. It's just not the same.

Another annoying thing that I have to deal with for the next seven weeks is I can't wash dishes facing the sink. My belly is too large and I end up hunched over just so I can reach the water. I now have to face sideways and turn my upper body towards the sink. Really? I don't remember every doing this with Hayden. Annoying.

Not to mention I have a really hard time giving Hayden her baths now. Garit has stepped in and taken over that nightly routine while I attempt to wash the dishes. :( Sad sad sad.

I refuse to be that mom

I met my friend Hannah and her son Eric for lunch yesterday. We have been friends basically since Hayden and Eric were born, maybe a bit before? She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met and I really hope we are forever friends. Cheesy? Maybe. But I'm totally telling you the truth.

We met on the What to Expect forum boards...you know, like the book? They have a website where you can go to talk to other moms-or in our case expecting mommas, to share your symptoms, thoughts, worries or even laughs. I have become rather close to about 15 of the girls and still talk to them weekly, even though I've only met about a handful of them.

Hannah is also pregnant again, expecting two weeks after I. :0) We didn't plan it, but shhhh we kinda did. Eric is also two weeks behind Hayden in the age department. Funny how that all worked out.

We went to Souplantation yesterday with the kids {my first time} and Eric, who is usually the busybody, sat perfectly still on his booster while eating everything Hannah put in front of him. I watched in envy for maybe 2.5 seconds while I tried wrangling my child and eat at the same time.  I was so embarrassed. She really just wanted to get down and play with Eric. They were smitten with each other. Plus she was tired. Excuses? Yep. But my child was that child and I was that mom. She didn't want to sit still and she was letting me know it. After we left I sat in my car thinking:

This is it. I knew this day would come. The day where I don't take my child out in public restaurants because I'm not going to be one of those moms. I'm not going to embarrass myself or my friends. If she can't behave, then we just won't go anywhere. 

Hannah and I both agreed that we need to just stick with parks and picnics.

Journal

Hayden isn't feeling the best today. She's been on my lap the entire morning and fussy at times. I did however enjoy our hour marathon of Olivia (the cartoon pig) with her cuddling on my lap and playing with my fingers.

That was the sweetest hour of my day and possibly qualifying for best hour of the week. I'm trying to cherish all of these moments while I still have them. While we still have them. I actually start to get really sad when I think about her not being my only child.

It's been just the two of us every weekday for the past 16 months. Having a child changes everything. I'm sure with two in the mix, nothing will be the same.

About three months ago, maybe longer actually, I purchased a lovely cloth bound journal from Anthropologie. I had many ideas for what I would write in it or use it for.

Mind you, this is not a cheap journal, as nothing ever is from Anthropologie. But I bought it because it was  gorgeous.

Well, it's still blank. I've opened it a few times as it sits on my nightstand, but nothing seemed worthy enough to write in it, or at least I could never commit to what the sole purpose of the journal would be used for. Until now.

I've just decided that the journal I bought is going to have all of my special moments that I share with Hayden and Baby A. Moments that I can look back on and smile. Moments that I can hopefully share with my girls in the future when they are truly able to appreciate and understand the love that I poured into it. Now that I think about it. I may just have to buy another one of these expensive journals...one for each of the girls. That would mean more to them if they each had their own. Something for me to consider...

I really want to not care

I love love love the styles of Anthropologie. Whenever I go there or online I find many things that I drool over, but never end up purchasing. Reason #1 being I’m fat and pregnant, so nothing actually fits. But reason #2 is because I care too much about what other people will think. The styles are gorgeous and I think many can agree on that. But you know how you kind of have a stigma of your style/personality that’s kind of set in stone after high school? And, if you try to change it, people look at you differently or you’re considered a “poser”? I think that’s the word. Anyhow, I think know I have the style of a school teacher. Bleh. ORRR get this….a mom. I’m 23 (I think, I honestly forget) and I don’t think I deserve the title of dressing like a "mom".

I don’t want to be dressing like most 23-year-olds I see with their ta-tas out or the short shorts, but I really don’t want to be put in the style category as a teacher or mom. Does this make sense?

I truly wish I just didn’t care. I wish I could just dye my hair a fun color, do a crazy cut and have extremely cute, different clothing. To sum it up, I would love to dress like a hippie. Not positive G would stay with me though.

How comfy does this look?? Yep. I know.

I might have to get this beauty.

mmmmmm. 

Loving this so much and I don't know why.

All of these outfits are gorgeous and I would love to wear them…I wish I didn’t care what people had to think. I really want to not care. BTW, isn’t the photography in all of these pictures exquisite? 

Mhhmm.

If I had the choice to do my hair any way without ever thinking twice what other people would think, I would love to do something similar to this:

I don’t know…I guess I can always dream. Maybe one day I’ll get the balls to not care.